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document.write("<font face=arial,helvetica size=-1 color=#FF0000><b>Snippets!</b></font>");
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RandomDate = new Date();
RandomNo = (RandomDate.getMilliseconds());
if      (RandomNo < 50)  {document.write(" Some people are like blisters: they never appear until the work is done. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 100) {document.write(" I can't be conceited because conceit is an imperfection and I'm PERFECT! ");}
else if (RandomNo < 150) {document.write(" I'm the fat lady, I'm finished and I ain't singin shit! ");}
else if (RandomNo < 200) {document.write(" Old plumbers never die.  They just go down the drain. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 250) {document.write(" Archeologists will date any old thing. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 300) {document.write(" An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made, in a very narrow field. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 350) {document.write(" Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 400) {document.write(" It takes two to make a marriage: a girl and her mother. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 450) {document.write(" God may be dead but 50,000 social workers have taken his place. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 500) {document.write(" We're staying together for the sake of the cats. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 550) {document.write(" Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 600) {document.write(" An Irishman is not drunk so long as he can hold on to one blade of grass and not fall off the earth. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 650) {document.write(" Just think - maybe the Joneses are trying to keep up with you. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 700) {document.write(" The drunker I sit here, the longer I get. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 750) {document.write(" I don't mind the voices in my head, it's the ones in yours that bug me. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 800) {document.write(" Psychologists say people with hobbies are not likely to go crazy - but this doesn't apply to the people they live with. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 850) {document.write(" A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 900) {document.write(" Join the Hernia Society.  It needs your support. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 950) {document.write(" Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once. ");}
else                     {document.write(" The Last Time People Listened To A Bush, They Wandered In The Desert For 40 Years. ");}
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